The January "100 Words Or Less" Writing Challenge - Writing with Emotion

[Emily Wright]

What's going on here?

The January "100 Words Or Less" Writing Challenge asks you to bring emotion to your creative vision of what is happening in the picture above.  There is obviously a piece of red luggage on the left side of the photo.  Is the woman here coming or going?  Why is she standing there, obviously staring at the house?  What is that broken-down sofa out at the curb?  What's that all about?  What is the woman feeling (other than cold, we mean)?  And why is she dressed like that? Is she waiting for a taxi to take her to the airport for a flight to Miami?  Did she just fly in from Las Vegas?

What's going on here?  Tell us in 100 words or less. And make us feel your story, not just read it.

Some tips:

Identify the emotions in your story. What do you want your readers to feel at different points during the story? How should they feel when they finish reading? How does the character in your story feel about what is happening?

Think about a time when you experienced the emotion your character is experiencing. While you may have never been through exactly what this character is dealing with, chances are you've felt happy, sad, angry, surprised, scared, and a whole host of other emotions before. Think back to the time you felt the particular emotion you're trying to get across.

Decide how the character would react. Your own emotions are a good starting point, but in most cases, this character isn't the same as you. Think about the type of person this character is and what she would do when faced with the situation you're writing about.

Feel the your story as you write it: Involve the senses of touch, hearing, smell, taste and, of course, what the character sees through her eyes.

Use the setting. What you describe about the area where the action is taking place, the objects in that setting, and even the other characters (even unseen) can help to enhance the emotion of a scene. Remember that you and your readers are seeing everything through the eyes of your main character and the main character's emotional state will influence what she notices and thinks about.

How to enter:

Make sure that you're logged in as a member to this web site.  Add your entry below as a "Comment."  When you're finished, click on the "Add comment" button in the lower right of your entry.  Want to do it over?  Click on the red "X" to the right of your entry and start all over. Do as many re-writes as you wish, but remember that you only have one entry.

Deadline: January 31st at noon.

Fear.  Anger.  Sorrow.  Betrayal.   Regret.  Emotion... that's what we're looking for. 

 

[Emily Wright]

THE JANUARY "100 Words Or Less" WRITING CHALLENGE IS CLOSED.

The winner will be announced at the upcoming February 2nd GMM in Glendale.

[Don Casual]

The cold slurry of snow pelted Elle's bare skin. But the only thing Elle felt was the coldness in her heart.

"So you want to come home again?" her mother had asked over the phone.

"Yes, Mama. I want to make things right between us again."

"Well, I've got rid of all your old bedroom furniture. You can sleep on the old love seat we used to have in the living room. You always did love it.  I can have it brought up out of the basement and made ready for you."

"Thank you, Mama. That would be so nice," Elle said.

"When are you coming?"mama asked.

"I can be there tomorrow."

"The sofa will be ready for you. Goodbye."

"Goodby, Mama. I love you," Elle tried to say, but the line was already dead.

[Thomas McClane]

Veterans Return

Can’t believe it! My love seat serving with no legs as cold street trash is betrayal!

Oh well, Mom and Dad couldn’t guess your importance during my first romances. How could they know how many times I pine’d for you while day-dreaming of home and love in the armored seat of my helo?

Enough sadness! New legs and warm red fabrics are in your future, old veteran. The war is over for both of us. We’ll find love and joy again together.  

The love seat hadn’t known it possessed her soul, but it liked her seat too.

[Lauretta Coumarbatch]

 

MARISSA:
(kicks couch indignantly)

I told him I'd leave with exactly what I brought!

She counts the last dollars in her wallet while thumbing a worn photo of a smiling old woman hugging Marissa’s world-weary teenage self.

 MARISSA: (CONT’D)
And you're no help old woman... dying on me!
(whispers)
I need you Grandma, more than ever... I messed up!
(sobs remorsefully)
I did date him for money but I promise, I married him for love.

 

She marshals herself, looks at the house sarcastically...

MARISSA: (CONT’D)

At least you left me something.

Her smile turns to horror at the apparition in the window.

[Josef Louis Lemoine]

When I was nine, mom and I settled in an adobe motel near the southern border. We changed our names before our bruises healed. Every day I returned from school, her hands smelled harsh and clean. Evenings she taught me to read in three languages, to dance, to curse. We hiked and fired my grandfather’s revolver at cacti on weekends. After she passed, I returned north. Dad staggered down the snow-dampened steps of the family Victorian and tripped over a busted couch. When he reached for my mother’s red valise I grabbed his wrist, asked him if he missed her.

[Ivan Jackovich]

Snow feels warm as sadness freezes me.

How could you? And on this couch, you promised me, love for eternity.

Seeing you holding each other, so tight, moving like the rhythm of a summer breeze swaying the trees.

Soft sweet moans during each sway, added to the beauty, hurting me even more.

Fire filled every cell in my body. Neither gods nor demons could stop me.

Time slowed as you ran. The bullets hit.

That sweet woman, now a pathetic whore, crawling along screaming.

So much noise. I squeezed. Bang! Bang! Leaving a peaceful dead silence.

Argentina will be hot. 

[Vic Cabrera]

I can’t believe I got this place for less than 50 thousand.   Wait unti I get back to Miami.  Clifford is going to be so proud of me.  He thinks he’s the only one that can scam a good deal.  We’ll turn this around for a healthy profit.

Teddy and Sue must have flung this sofa from the porch… they didn’t deserve a penny for this house.  I took care of Mom.  I paid all her bills and she wanted me to have it… just because it didn’t say so in her will…

I should have given them less. 

[jim calocci]

mumble along,poopsies

ready ,set,mumble

 

sunrise sunset,sunrise sunset

my overjoyed tears

endless incredible features

countless quiet cheers

 

wow,the castle I now own

three floors,lotsa space

I even own my own "potty"

tell me who NEVER HAS TO WAIT

 

sunrise sunset,sunrise sunset

I just wanna gaze

who has their own sidewalk

gonna lounge here,for days

 

it's kinda elegant,indeed

I'm thr LADY OF THE HOUSE

being a HOME owner suits me

we's both gots lotsa class,no doubt

 

repeat endlessly

 

[Emily Wright]

Critique from Emily: Nice, Alphonso! (Alphonso lives in Savannah, Georgia, the birthplace of famous short story writer Flannery O'Connor.)

sp: "thief" (the old "i" before "e" except after "c" rule).

Open quotation marks demand closing quotation marks.

"frightened."

Excellent, evocative piece!

[Alphonso Irving]

                                                          "FACING MY FEAR"

       The haunting whispers of the harsh winter wind ressurects chilling memories of days long forgotten. Forty years have pass since I last seen this place or his evil face. As I peer up into the blackness of the windows, I can't see a soul. Unexpectedly, fear seizes my body like a theif in the night and I can't breathe.

        Silently, I wonder to myself,"Is it me staring up at the house or is it the house staring down at me? The frighten little girl in me wants to run away. But, the woman in me compels me to stay.